Surgery

I've been doing a lot of thinking these days about the kind of person I want to be, and what my life should be characterized by as a child of God and follower of Christ.

I usually have a general focus on such matters. First, my life as a child of God is to look, well, different. Peculiar at times. But definitely different from the culture that surrounds me. I am confident that believers really should stand out among us--that the fruit of our lives spoken of in scripture are to be seen. You know...that whole "don't hide your light under a bushel" thing? It implies that our lives should shine a bit, don't you think?

But I guess my focus as of late has been specifically about self-absorption. There have been dozens of little things that have caused me discomfort about myself and others over the years....but I never found a category of description that I could file them under....there was just this "thing", be it attitude or action....this behavioral tic...that seemed so unfitting for those who claim themselves to be children of God.

In case this is read by someone who doesn't know me...or can't discern from the text my full heart or intention in penning these words....let's be clear. I have both of my hands fully grasped around the log in my own eye on these matters. And I am committed to tugging it loose. Is it gone yet? Nope. But I'm in the midst of surgery right now. And at the risk of becoming even more obnoxious, I can go a step further: if Jesus' words are to looked at more closely, it could be that once the log is out of my eye...I may be able to see that speck in your eye even more clearly to help you remove it! Ack.

What if that was the kind of community that we created for ourselves as believers? One in which we are engaging in a different kind of "self-absorption". Not the kind of life that is absorbed--impressed or depressed-- by self, appearance, abilities, possessions and knowledge. What if we were focused on ourselves only in order to live up to our calling...and to remove that which forbids us from making progress in such things? And what if we knew that such proper self-focus would ultimately help us to help others in their walk?

I've gotta go scrub for eye surgery. I hope to be out of the recovery room and able to be a better friend, wife, mother and daughter soon. I've got a Great Physician, if you ever need a reference. :)